One day at work during lunch a co-worker asked if I’d like to visit the Kerala Backwaters. I wasn’t sure exactly what that was, but on John’s recommendation I said yes.

I soon learned that the Kerala Backwaters are a series of brackish lagoons (a mixture of saltwater and freshwater) formed by rivers and streams of the mainland as they fuse with the Arabian Sea.

Don’t bother looking on Google maps for them because this place, like so many other wonderful places in India, it isn’t listed. I stole this map from Wikipedia to give you an idea of what they look like…

Due to their massive size and location relative to the equator tide changes are almost undetectable. That combined with plentiful fish and topical weather has made this an ideal place to live throughout the ages.

In fact, according to most historians, around the 100BC when the first Greek and Roman traders visited Malabar (now known as Kerala) they dubbed this “The Venice of the East”. …One can only imagine that at the time Venice was much more similar then that modern city is today.

Today life on the Kerala Backwaters doesn’t seem to have changed that much. At least it hasn’t for many people who still live in the small huts of villages that dot the shoreline. There are of course modern resorts now; fully furnished with AC and all the necessary modern conveniences. But I digress, back to me and my trip…

The drive to Kollam was a bit of a journey, as most road trips are in India. Traffic here lacks the rules and order of western infrastructure, but what they lack in guidelines they seem to make up for with common sense. With few signs, lights or stripes on the road Indians defer to their personal judgment and do a fine job of getting from A to B with much less drama then one would expect.

Upon arriving in Kollam we strolled unto the nicest boat in the backwaters and got comfortable while the crew stocked supplies and prepared for our trip. This is what the boat looked like…

After a few minutes we were given Coconuts with straws in them to sip while we passed the time. I took my first drink expecting milk only to be surprised by a sweet-somewhat-salty flavor. That didn’t go with that mental image, but I believe in trying everything at least twice, so I chanced another sip. This time the flavor met my expectations and I soon realized how much I enjoyed coconut water.

As we pushed off shore and cruised out to the open water Amit (an employee of the company I’m working with here) started talking shop with John (my traveling companion and co-worker) about our project. I kept to myself, enjoying all the new sights and sounds.

Glancing around I spotted what looked like an elementary school built on the shoreline, it looked pretty great. There were plenty of trees to provide ample coverage from the sun, lots of room to play tag, places to relax along the water, even a roller skating ring!

What an awesome setting for a school. My good buddy Derek and I would have killed to go to school here when we were chillen.

Looking towards the other side of the water I spotted a series of restaurants cast in the shadows of the hot morning sun. Just behind a railing that snaked along the shore was a series of tables speckled with patrons enjoying their meals. The picture (below) really doesn’t do the scene justice. (My camera really failed me on this trip. It’s just a compact digital and obviously my hand did a poor job of shielding the CCD from the glare of the sun).

I was surprised how clean the water was. I thought it looked dingy in the picture above so I decided to take a close up (below). It’s green of course because of the ample life in the lagoon, but honestly it looked very clean and inviting.

About this time the crew distributed some King Fisher Premium, one of India’s “premium” beers. It wasn’t my favorite pint, but it really hit the spot.

After a few sips I was very relaxed, soon John and I found ourselves in the middle of a heated discussion about PC security. John claimed his XP machine was “secure enough for most businesses” while I took the position that it was one of the biggest failures in IT security. Adding that Vista was the only Microsoft OS I recommended for businesses.

I love talking geek, especially with someone brilliant like John, but I’m constantly amazed at how little some/most people know about Vista. I think penguin lovers (Linux users) and fruit cakes (Apple users) are blinded by their rebellious nature, but I digress. Getting back to my trip…

In the distance I saw what looked like a small version of the statue of liberty rising from the shore-line. Upon closer inspection I realized it was in-fact, “The Goddess of Light” (pictured below). Having been lost on large lakes before I can only imagine how helpful this is on a moonless night. I would have loved to stop at the adjacent hotel and learned more about its history and myth, but we had to push on.

A little further along the way I spotted what looked like an empty canoe. As we approached a head popped out of the water. Apparently this local fisherman was hot and wanted to go for a dip. I can’t blame him; the brackish water was very inviting.

Another real treat was watching this ancient canoe sailing along. I’ve read about these sailboats in history books, I’ve even seen a few in museums. That was nothing compared to watching one in action.

Apparently these sailboats aren’t complicated to build, one simple needs to find a large tree and burn/carve/hack out a channel to sit in. If there are no large trees, you can bind thick reeds with thin ones. People have been making boats just like this one since the dawn of written history, and they’ve been used to sail just about everywhere.

The next familiar site was a series of fishing nets (above). Judging by the color of the water one can only assume that the fish here have an ample supply of phytoplankton. I’ve eaten a lot of fish on this trip, I’ll bet at least one of them came from this place.

It seems fishing here is very popular. Below are some fishing boats owned by Amma (a local spiritual leader and “universal mother” to millions). I don’t know that much about Amma, but I’ve only heard good things. Apparently she’s fed over 7.5 million people (among many other good things) and still lives in a humble home, so I’m going to give her charity the benefit of the doubt.

In the distance below you can see one of the many temples, churches and mosques built along the shoreline. I was keeping track of how many there were, but I lost count. Some of them were playing pleasant Hindi music, others were silent. Closing my eyes I tried to imagine what it would be like to paddle to church. …That made me smile. My family was usually late and rushing to get to church on-time. I my mind I could see my brothers and I padding tirelessly to try and get to temple on time.

Eventually we rounded this corner and floated into a narrow channel, about 30 meters (100ft) wide. There really isn’t a point to the picture below, I just thought it did a fair job of representing the tropical setting I found myself in.

As you can see (below) we spent almost the entire trip chatting, snacking on spicy cashews and sipping King Fisher Premium, naturally I thoroughly enjoying myself.

In the picture above Amit was telling John why he returned to India. Apparently Amit lived in the states for some time, and his brothers still live there now. I was curious why someone leave the US so I listened attentively as Amit told of his love for India, his family/friends here and his passion for giving back to the place he came from. Hearing this Amit’s stock went up in my book. I dig people who are crazy enough to follow their heart, especially when that comes at a high price.

Above you can see a family of four pushing their canoe along with long poles. When the water is shallow enough this is how the locals get around, it looks a lot easier than paddling.

The picture above shows one of the more common views on this trip. This glimpse into the local’s word gives you an idea what life must be like here. In the long grass by the water are children at play, in the background a simple cinderblock house. Most the homes here cinderblocks or cement, a few were wooden. The more meager abodes were simply made of palms like the one pictured below…

Below are a few more of the local sights, honestly life here looked pretty inviting to me…

One thing I wasn’t thrilled to see was that, even on the backwaters, communist (Marxist) propaganda was quite prevalent. Personally I’m very opposed to socialism in general, especially this flavor. I think Marxist prey on the uneducated and misinformed. Then again I’m very pro-expression so I appreciate their freedom to share views and opinions.

Every once in a while we’d pass by a small group of the locals. Usually they’d stop to wave and smile. I wish we’d had time to stop and mingle, they probably spoke Malayalam instead of English but I think we could have managed. …That’s defiantly on my TODO list for the next trip.

Eventually we stopped the boat at a dock adjacent to a simple church. They had a well and we ran out a garden hose to refill our boat’s fresh water tank.

We hadn’t been still for 10 minutes when John asked the locals if it was safe to swim. They seemed shocked but he was already undressing before he got an answer. Without hesitating he dove off the boat plunging into the cool green water.

John stayed underwater for some time. After a long 20-30 seconds I was starting to wonder if he hadn’t got stuck on the muddy bottom or been impaled on a sharp stick. But apparently he was playing with our minds, a few moments later he popped his head back up and we all exhaled. I have to admit that I was completely jealous of John. It was hot and, as I already mentioned, the water looked very inviting. …I told myself I didn’t jump in after him because I’d promised my sister that I wouldn’t swim in India. …I’d like to think that was the only reason, but I’m not sure I would have even if I hadn’t made that promise.

After John had tried off and we’d settled down lunch was served. I was pleased to learn that our crew included a local gourmet chef. I thought his spicy fish fillet (pictured bottom-center) was especially tasty. The carrot/pepper/etc veg item (pictured top-center) was a foreign melody of flavors that I really enjoyed. I want to try cooking something like that back home.

After lunch we returned to wondering the water ways. It’s difficult to make-out, but that dirt along the shoreline above was a road with people, cattle and motorcycles. Seeing someone my age ripping along the pathway made me realize that I would love to tour the backwaters on a dirt-bike. Unfortunately I’ve found it almost impossible to borrow a bike here, maybe next trip I’ll just buy one.

Well, that’s about it for pictures. I decided to put the camera down to enjoy what I supposed might be a once in a lifetime experience. I spent most of the ride back in silence, listening to the music pouring down from the nearby temples, watching children play along the shore and wondering through the ship’s guest log. It was filled with a variety of languages and pictures, even some mirror writing. Reading between the lines I could understand every page, “We had a great time!”

The mainstream media has been running tons of bits on “number-crunching” Chimpanzees today. Here’s one headline from WiredScience, “Chimpanzees are probably better than you at math.” Having previously studied primates’ mathematical abilities, I was shocked. It’s widely known that primates can’t do math because they don’t think the way we do. Eagerly I read the article only to learn that math wasn’t involved in this exercise. That pissed me off (I hate deceitful headlines), so I decided to blog about it.

Here’s the real skinny on this bit of misinformation. The chimps were TRAINED to use a touch-screen and memorization program. The program displays numbers in random positions, then the numbers disappear and the chimp touches the places the numbers appeared in numerical order (1, 2, 3, etc).

We know the chimps see numbers as symbols and understand that one symbol preceeds the next. But that’s the extend of their “genius”. There was no addition, subtraction, multiplication or division involved in this exersize. If chimps could add two numbers and understand what they were doing then that would be a true number crunching math chimp, but these aren’t. Again, the headline was, “Chimpanzees are probably better than you at math” …A complete lie.

Some chimps, which had practiced for quite some time, were pitted against college students who had no prior experience with this exercise. The students kept up with the chimps until the numbers were only appearing for less than half a second. I’m not impressed at all that chimps can be trained to react/memorize faster than humans who weren’t trained.

Instead of pitting college students against the chimps, why not use children and spend an equal amount of time training them? I’d put money on a 6-year old winning. …Children are faster learners than adults and have excellent memorization skills.

Obviously this story is another example of the media selling scientific lies by the click. Below is a clip from an average player in a Halo 3 match. Your reaction time here has to be in the 50-millisecond range to be competitive, and it’s ridiculously more complicated then the chimp game above. This is the kind of game humans (children and adults) play FOR FUN. Let’s see a chimp do this…



				

 

Michelle the Flying Cow

November 6, 2007

No, I didn’t forget about my blog. I was simply waiting and watching for the next great article. …Today I found it. You want to read this.

Fresh from today’s headlines, this is totally legit…

Couple escapes injury when falling cow hits minivan

Early Sunday morning in my home state of Washington something terrible happened. A visiting Michigan couple was driving home from church along the lake when all the sudden…

SLAMMOOO!!! A huge freakin’ cow landed on the hood of their car, instantly killing the peaceful creature.

The escaped cow was a beloved local prize heifer, affectionately named Michelle. It has been said of Michelle that she was fond of gazing into the heavens, sometimes with a longing look in her eye. …Not exactly normal cow behavior.

Obviously Michelle had decided she wanted to fly. Being an intelligent animal she must have planned to make her attempt over the lake. Unfortunately Michelle probably miscalculated her speed and trajectory by a few decimal places, resulting in a leap that landed her in history but was tragically short of clearing the road.

This is the cliff where Michelle made her fatal flight attempt…

This is the car…

And this is Michelle…


Your thoughts?

Squirrel Brains

September 20, 2007

My friend MK recently sent this video. I donno why, but I love watching squirrels do tricks. This one is pretty smart…

Beware of Poison Oak

July 27, 2007

This what my dad normally looks like…

This is what he has looked like all week…

Apparently my dad wondered into some Poison Oak dirt biking. About a week after riding (which is common) his whole body broke out with a nasty rash.

Apparently it’s also very itchy, and where the rash wasn’t on his face his skin was a nasty green color. This happened because he’s allergic to Poison Oak, but many people are.

…Maybe this painful picture will help you remember a few things about Poison Oak.

This is what Poison Oak looks like…

This is how it gets you…

  1. You brush up against leaves with bare skin.
  2. The oil soaks into your skin.
  3. If you’re allergic, you breakout.  …I am so glad I’m not.


This is what you should do if you’re exposed…

There isn’t a lot you can do.  If you are exposed you should take a long shower as soon as possible. …And don’t use the hot water (opening pores could be a bad idea).

I called it!

July 22, 2007

I’ve been warning you about the squirrel agenda (world conquest) for some time now. In the past I wrote about squirrels killing dogs, attacking children, women and senior citizens. Today I have some new breaking news to share…

Regrettably it appears the squirrels have begun mobilizing their intelligence gathering forces. For the moment we are under the impression this is a part of their psychwar tactics, not the early signs of a confrontation (though there is always that potential). Here’s the scoop: Squirrels with embedded GPS and other intelligence gathering technology were captured as spies by Iran.

According to the DailyWireless.org, “at least 14 squirrels were arrested by Iranian authorities for espionage”. NPR also ran the story. Iran says the squirrels had GPS and other technology embedded in their bodies. This explains a lot. For a while now I’ve thought some squirrels jumped a little higher then naturally possible.

And as if Cyborg Squrriels weren’t a big enough problem, Iran is blaming us!!! Iran thinks, “[The] Rodents were being used by Western powers in an attempt to undermine the Islamic Republic” …I hope Iran realizes it’s the Furballs before they drop their first nuke.

I also hope this recent news tips some of you fence jockeys and social conformists. We all need to keep our eyes out for Cyborg Squrriels. Inconsistent eye reflections are a reliable indicator of embedded optical technology. Antenna toating tails move more rigidly and will react differently to charged wires. A field taser might be the best way to check a squirrel during interrogation. If one eye pops out or their tail catches on fire it’s a Cyber Squirrel. If it just gets really angry then it’s probably natural and you’d better chuck it ASAP. Even natural squirrels can do a lot of damage. I recommend standing near a lake within squirrel-chucking distance. Swimming to shore usually takes the fight out of ill-tempered vermin.

I’ll leave you with a video taken by a couple invaded by A SINGLE SQUIRREL. The man and women in this film were found mutilated in their home. There was no sign of the squirrel.


				

Further instructions will follow as additional information is made available. You’ve been warned. Act accordingly.

Pictures of Bees

July 18, 2007

I’m trying to improve my digital camera skillz so I’ve been snapping a lot of random pictures. Today I just happened to have the camera handy when some bees caught my eye. These were taken using the Macro feature on my old Cannon S410. I’m pretty happy with these results. …Well, I’m making progress. I took these pictures from one of the flowerbeds at my parents place (my mom is an amazing gardener).

I really liked this shot…

Here’s a zoom-in on the bee from the pic above…

And I never realized how huge some bees ‘horns’ were until I took these…

 

I especially liked this shot, the online version is nothing compared to the original…