The squirrels are coming!!!

June 17, 2007

Don’t say I didn’t warn you; squirrels really are plotting to take over the world. People all over the world are reporting squirrels exhibiting intelligent predator behavior.

Recently I was informed about an incident that took place in Berlin Germany, where a squirrel leapt from a window and attacked someone. It gets worse; the victum, a middle-aged lady, ran out into the streets with the squirrel still clawing and biting crawling around her body. Eventually it spotted what it must have suspected was a weaker victim and abandon the women.

The “weaker” victim was actually a 72-year old man. …Now, say what you will about the grayhairs among us, but most of their men can wield a mean cane. This grayhair turned on the rabid squirrel and crushed it under his crutch with one mighty blow! Score one for the grayhairs! It’s good to know they’re still well informed and fighting the good fight.

…To all you non-believers; if this didn’t convince you that the squirrels are plotting against us I don’t know what will. Keep in mind, there are 50 squirrels for every one person on earth. The average human might be able to fight off a few, but I pity-the-fool who takes on 50 all by their oncie. …Oh, and they’re multiplying fast. Squirrels multiply at a rate 350% faster than humans. We need to unit to suppress this evil uprising before it is too late.


6 Responses to “The squirrels are coming!!!”

  1. Deb Reed Says:

    “Attack of the Killer Squirrels” — it’s a nutty world be careful out there!

    Grey Panthers unite for freedom from hunger, no medical insurance, and Nazi squirrels.

  2. 8r13n Says:

    lol…Did I mention we camped at Panther creek? …I figured we’d be safe from the squirrels there.

  3. 8r13n Says:

    I just read a bit about the Grey Panthers and Maggie Kuhn. Wikipedia quotes her as saying, “…old people constitute America’s biggest untapped and undervalued human energy source…” I couldn’t agree more.

    I wish the grayhairs would rise up against the whippersnappers. …Maybe it’s the meds?

    Is it possible the whippersnappers have drugged the grayhairs into submission? Hmm, an unlimited supply of Vicodin does explain certain driving habbits. There may be something to this theory…

  4. Deb Reed Says:



  5. chococat Says:

    hmm and im the one that sent you this info. i told you im smarter than you think. :p

  6. 8r13n Says:

    True, your alert was the first I received. …But field reports came in from six states about this article. My anti-squirrel intelligence network is growing on the daily. Thanks to you, and people like you.

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