The squirrels are coming!!!
June 17, 2007
Don’t say I didn’t warn you; squirrels really are plotting to take over the world. People all over the world are reporting squirrels exhibiting intelligent predator behavior.
Recently I was informed about an incident that took place in Berlin Germany, where a squirrel leapt from a window and attacked someone. It gets worse; the victum, a middle-aged lady, ran out into the streets with the squirrel still clawing and biting crawling around her body. Eventually it spotted what it must have suspected was a weaker victim and abandon the women.
The “weaker” victim was actually a 72-year old man. …Now, say what you will about the grayhairs among us, but most of their men can wield a mean cane. This grayhair turned on the rabid squirrel and crushed it under his crutch with one mighty blow! Score one for the grayhairs! It’s good to know they’re still well informed and fighting the good fight.
…To all you non-believers; if this didn’t convince you that the squirrels are plotting against us I don’t know what will. Keep in mind, there are 50 squirrels for every one person on earth. The average human might be able to fight off a few, but I pity-the-fool who takes on 50 all by their oncie. …Oh, and they’re multiplying fast. Squirrels multiply at a rate 350% faster than humans. We need to unit to suppress this evil uprising before it is too late.