Gay Spiders

June 6, 2007

…A father watched his young daughter playing in the garden. He smiled as he reflected on how sweet and pure his little girl was. Tears formed in his eyes as he thought about her seeing the wonders of nature through such innocent eyes. Suddenly she just stopped and stared at the ground. He went over to her to see what work of God had captured her attention, where he noticed she was looking at two spiders mating.

“Daddy, what are those two spiders doing?” she asked.

“They’re mating,” her father replied.

“What do you call the spider on top?” she asked.

“That’s a Daddy Longlegs,” her father answered.

“So, the other one is a Mommy Longlegs?” the little girl asked.

As his heart soared with the joy of such a cute and innocent question he replied “No dear, both of them are Daddy Longlegs.”

The little girl, looking a little puzzled, thought for a moment, then took her foot and stomped them flat.

“Well, we’re not having any of that gay shit in our garden.” she said.

I know it’s just a joke, but I could totally see this happening. Maybe that’s why this joke reminded me why cheap humor is so harmful.

Part of why I think these jokes are so damaging is that they are funny. IMHO, all too often the comedic quality of the joke gives life to a little piece of hate.

This joke also goes right along with my theory that bigotry/hate starts at a young age, and at home. …And more and more often, online.

To summarize my thoughts; I think jokes at someone else’s expense are cheap…Cheap, but also funny…And something we should all discourage for both those reasons.

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8 Responses to “Gay Spiders”


  1. I found your blog surfing my favorite blog (hack-a-day) and I like it 🙂
    I think you have some interesting ideas and a good way to present them!

    I fully agree about this point: hate starts at young age!

    Often hate comes from family, church, school, adult people that learned hate in young age.
    And so on!

    Often children grow up with the exact believing that there are people that is less valuable than other, that the only way to build something is to destroy something, that the respect is for dull people.

    Youngness doesn’t means innocence, youngness means “very very permeable to new learnings”!
    If you give your children a bad learning, he/she will be bad.

    I don’t like to generalize things, but really, I see this happening sometime!
    Often a child of an homophobic family will be probably homophobic, and if gay, will have psychological troubles in his future probably.

    Before growing up childs, dudes, please, be sure to have good things to tell!!

  2. 8r13n Says:

    Thanks Salvatore! It’s always good to hear that other people are thinking along the same lines.

    Oh, and I checked out your blog. I really liked the “Contrapposizione” piece. Do you sell that art? I’d love to buy a wallpaper for my desktop if that’s possible (1600×1200).

    Back to my article, I haven’t always thought the way I do now. This kind of humor was once a problem for me, especially black and mexican jokes. As bad as they are, some of them are funny (or seemed to be at the time).

    Part of what made them seem ok is that I had black and Hispanic friends who made those jokes. And I told myself it was ok because I knew I never took any of those racist jokes seriously, even though I laughed.

    …Now I just think all harmful humor isn’t worth the laugh. I cut out this kind of humor about a year ago (that recent) and I don’t miss it one bit. I’m funny enough I don’t need it (…well, that’s what I tell myself).


  3. Eheh … yes I sell my art, but I don’t sell picture of my art 🙂 I’m not a photographer 🙂

    I’ll be happy to send to you an high quality picture of that sculpture when I have the time to do it, be patient.
    I have an art show on monday here in Palermo so I’m quite busy now as you may understand 🙂

    However, I’m happy when people like the things I do!
    The only thing I’m trying to do now as a young artist is to make the world know what I do.
    I’ll appreciate a link exchange if you like 🙂 or I’ll simply appreciate if you let know my blog to your friends 🙂
    I’m sorry text of my “blog” is in italian only for the moment, I should do an english version as soon as possible! Time is always a problem! 😦

    About the article:

    I’m happy you are able to be so politically correct! 🙂
    As I said, I like your point of view.

    My boyfriend is african and, of course, black.
    He lives here in Italy since 26 years now, so he consider himself as italian.
    Of course, he is gay and black in a “white” and catholic country, not an easy task it seems 🙂
    In reality we don’t have big problems, we live our life without so much troubles, usually people say nothing about us.

    The real problem is when people uses these jokes to hate or simply to feel more valuable than other people (may be due to lack of self-confidence?).
    The problem is when these jokes are taken seriously or used to teach something, especially to young people.

    When these jokes are used to do a bad thing they work very well! 😦

    You can use atomic energy to power up your computers to find a new cure against AIDS or you can use atomic energy to destroy a country. It’s a choice 🙂

    Homophobic and racist people uses these jokes!
    Sometimes happens that me and my bf use these jokes “against” ourselves in an ironic, self-ironic, sarcastic, and escatological way.
    We talk in a racist way of ourserlves 🙂 and it’s clear to us and to our friends that we are really joking! Who can be racist against himself?
    I think here resides the main difference between “offensive jokes” and “clean jokes”.
    It’s a way to “joke about jokes”, it may seems controversial and absurd but it’s what I think: when we joke, we can do it in a constructive way.
    I and my bf try to consider ourselves free from taking seriously these jokes!
    The problem is the people that take seriously these jokes! And the problem is when the people that listen to these jokes can’t understand you are “joking about the joke” and not joking about/against someone.
    And the problem resides if you apply these jokes to other people and not to yourself.

    So at the end i really think that the problem don’t reside exactly in jokes, the problem is in how you use these, in what is the underlying message of the joke, in what kind of relationship you own with the people that listens to your jokes and what you are believing when you play!

    I don’t need these jokes neither of course and the simple way to avoinding troubles is to not play at all with fire 🙂

  4. 8r13n Says:

    I hear you. I think self-depreciating jokes might be an exception. Like, I have this whole rant I go off on regularly about how white people are really pink. It’s true you know? Seriously. Hold up two sheets of paper, one white and another that’s pink. Then hold up a white person next to the two papers. If you do this you’ll clearly see that white people are pink, not white. …Well, most of us are.

    On the “who can be a racist against himself” comment, checkout Malcolm Gladwell’s book called Blink. He claims (and has statistical support) that most black people are actually racist against black people. I think the American media brainwashes people of all colors to dislike black people. It’s sad, but I totally believe that. So yeah, I think someone can be a racist against themselves.

    …On the “jokes about jokes” bit, I think that can be totally cool and safe, like if you’re in the middle of no-where. …But what if you said something mean and someone overheard you? Suppose they didn’t know you were joking about the joke? That’s why I stopped joking like that. …Then, after a while, I just stopped all together, and I really don’t miss them.

  5. 8r13n Says:

    Oh, and about your art, that’d be totally sweet if I could get a high-res shot. Especially if it was high-res enough to frame.

  6. 8r13n Says:

    Oh, and on the atomic energy part…WE NEED SOME!!! American’s are foolishly afraid of atomic energy.
    Based on my research (reading that of others who know more and are more involved) I hear the new nukeplants are coolbeans.
    If we just build like 200 small new plants we could get cheap energy and get rid of oil. That’s only four in every state. …And yeah, computers could sit there crunching against the spanish-flu (I say that’s on top), then AIDs, etc. etc.
    I put the spanish-flu at #1 because I hear only 40+ Million have died from AIDs since 1981. The spanish-flu killed 100+ Million (5-10% of the world’s population) in 18 months flat.
    …But I wish they had a cure for AIDs yesterday.


  7. Uhmmm…
    I’m late in everything in my life 🙂 in this period i’m “quite” busy.
    I’ll send the pic I said this day, I hope 🙂
    The time to find the right CD-Rom!

    About the self-racism… yes you are right.
    I didn’t think about it in these terms but you are right.
    Of course the things in Italy are a little different from USA i guess.
    The last response at the end is universally acceptable in USA, Italy or in any other places : “People, please, avoid these stupid jokes” 🙂

    About atomic plants: I agreee, we need energy!

    I’ll tell you a funny story :

    In Italy we have a lot of troubles about energy.
    There was a referendum some years ago where italian people voted alltogether that Italy don’t want atomic energy.
    For this reason, in italy, a law says that we can’t build nuclear plants.

    It happened right after Chernobill disaster, of course …

    The more funny thing is that now we don’t produce enough energy and we BUY energy from France.
    France uses nuclear power plants of course 🙂

    And the more funny thing is that if a nuclear plant in France explodes… (of course it will not explode) we get all the radiations.
    And really, there is no difference if that plant resides in Italy or in France.
    The only difference is that my money go to France when I turn on my computer running FightsAIDS@Home.

    Funny 🙂

    (FightAIDS@Home is a software that try to find new compounds against HIV virus… like SETI@Home … but the software don’t try to find aliens but try to fight AIDS, if you are interested in donating processing power look for FightAIDS@Home on google).


  8. Oh… I was forgetting an important thing :

    I don’t have your email address so I can’t the pic 🙂

    Send me an email so I can reply to it 🙂


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